My pants are out of the closet!

After a much needed blogging hiatus (I'd like to blame writer's block - but it's really just laziness) I was compelled to write about something near and dear to my heart: my strong aversion to a specific summer wardrobe piece, most commonly known as caprisius pantalones (capri pants).

First - I feel that I must apologize. This feels oddly like a "coming of out the closet" (pardon the pun!) moment for me. No one knows this dirty little secret I've been hiding for summers of yore. I feel like a married man who's suddenly decided to to tell the world that he's ::gasp:: homosexual. However a distasteful correlation that may be... it's still relevant, so pardon.

Second - We must define what, exactly, capris are and their alias'. Capris are the brain child of a jeans father and a shorts mother. (remember skorts? The cross between a skirt and a short? Yeah... we'll take those on another day.) When a pair of Levi's falls in love with Daisy Dukes.... you get capris! Capris also have evolutionary tendencies/alias': clam diggers, hot pants, pedal pushers and such.

For the longest time I thought I was the only one. I even masqueraded as a capri lover by purchasing and WEARING capris. But - come to find out Liz Khalil agrees with me! She, too despises capris.

Ladies - I really think that I could maybe come to grips with the actual wearing of capris IF they weren't dishonored almost everytime time I see them. (For CLASSIC capri misusage I suggested setting up shop outside a Super 1 or Albertson's for a good 30 minutes and then you'll understand my angst).

BUT - girls, there is hope. Gauchos are our attempt at squashing out tacky capris and their attempt to take over summer! Girls - do not be misled by the -8 size wearing 16 year olds in capris. WE do not look like that. THEY aren't real. Those girls don't exist!! They're figment of the marketing world's imagination. So - ladies I propose that we all bust out our gauchos and bust a move. Plus - they're a TON easier to breathe in!

VIVA LA GAUCHO PANTS!